Saturday, November 02, 2013

How to be a person.


Step one: Forget everything you think you know. Develop strong critical thinking skills and rational thought.

Step two: Change every single aspect of your life. Right now – as in, this very instant. Repeat as necessary.

Step three: Submit to overwhelming anxiety as your life choices affect those around you.

Step four: Increase your alcohol consumption and offset with increased coffee intake. Balance in all things.

Step five: Fall madly in love, while doubting yourself completely. Do it anyway.

Step six: Become financially independent. A good way to do this is to get a job.

Step seven: Be profoundly happy. It’s not selfish.

Step eight: Be incredibly lonely. It’s just a feeling.

Step nine: Be mindfully present. Nothing is forever, except for right now.

Step ten: Be completely yourself.


Congratulations! You’re human. Good luck with that.

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